


The Supermarket Is Full Of Supergays

by americangothic



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Dad AU, M/M, based off a prompt i saw somewhere on tumblr, grocery store au, robbie blatantly denies any homosexual urges, sportacus loves his daughter, the usual lazytown hijinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americangothic/pseuds/americangothic
Summary: Every single Monday. Every single damn Monday he visited the produce section. And every Monday, like clockwork, the apples would be in a new position.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic,, i rlly suck at summaries so uh,,,, sorry bout that

Every single Monday.  _ Every single damn Monday _ he visited the produce section. And every Monday, like clockwork, the apples would be in a new position.   
  
Robbie had tried to, in the past, ignore the fruits and let his coworkers deal with them. However, Flobby, Bobby and Tobby were often  _ much too enthusiastic _ about the apples. One of them would run over and grab Robbie's arm while he was restocking the soda aisle or changing the price tags for items and drag him over to the produce section.   
  
Usually, the apples were in some sort of geometric pattern. Recently, the perpetrator had taken a liking to cylinders (or, that's what Robbie thought their sculptures were supposed to be). The employees on duty would deconstruct the nutritional art, placing the apples back in their original spots.   
  
Today was one of the days where the little techno-pink girl walked past the cash register- more like  _ sprinted _ past- and turned the corner, presumably running to the produce section.   
  
A blue-suited man who Robbie could only assume was her father walked after her, giving Robbie a weary smile. Robbie nodded at him, accidentally dropping the boxes of Milky Ways he was carrying.   
  
Flobby looked over at him from the next aisle. "Hey Robbie," he asked. "Why don't we ever talk to Apple Guy?"   
  
That's what the employees had taken to calling the man and his criminally pink daughter. 'Apple Guy'. Whatever his real name was, Robbie was sure it must be better than that. Not that he  _ cared _ or anything.

“Well, Flobby,” Robbie mused. “Maybe because he only ever comes in here once a week? Or because he's just a customer? I mean, don't get me wrong here. There's a  _ million _ reasons why we don't talk him.”

Flobby sighed. “Yeah, but, what if  _ you _ tried it? I bet Apple Guy would want to be your friend.”

Robbie snorted, placing the last candy bars on the shelf. “My  _ friend _ ?” he said. “Like I want to be friends with someone who's idea of entertainment is just sorting apples.”

“Actually, I think it might be his daughter who does the majority of the apple architecture.” The shorter man replied. Robbie glared at Flobby.

“Don't interrupt.  _ Anyway _ ,” he continued. “I have work to do. I can't just  _ approach a customer _ and say ‘Oh hey there Apple Man, want to be friends?’”

Flobby pointed at the clock. “Yeah well, technically, uh, your break begins…” He paused for a moment. “Now.”

Robbie rolled his eyes. “ _ Really _ ?” Turning around with a flourish (or as much of a flourish as he could manage in the stupid grocery store clothing-  _ seriously _ , it's like supermarkets across the nation are collaborating to make the worst possible fashion choices), he strode away.

Only to bump into Apple Guy.

“O-oh, sorry.” Robbie muttered. “No, that's alright!” the shorter man responded cheerfully. “I should watch where I'm going.”

Robbie rolled his eyes. “Mhm. Have a nice day, sir,” he said. “Shop with us again soon.”

“I'll make sure to do that!” Apple Man said, with the same annoyingly  _ heroic _ tone to his voice. He and his daughter walked away into another aisle, and Robbie immediately groaned.

“Seriously? Just ‘shop with us again soon’?  _ Uggghhhh _ . I might as well just kill myself now.” He ran a hand down his face, embarrassed beyond measure.

Robbie composed himself and turned around, walking out of the maze of fruits and vegetables and into his stand. He stood there for a moment, still absolutely embarrassed, then sighed. 

“I bet Apple Guy eats these like candy,” Robbie muttered under his breath as he rung up a bag of fruit. He handed it to the customer. “Would you like a receipt?”

“Actually, yeah,” the short Icelandic man said. “I mean, yeah I'd like a receipt.” He flashed Robbie a smile, picking up his groceries. “I don't eat fruit like candy. That would be ridiculous!” As he and Pinky walked away, the younger girl turned around and mouthed “ _ Actually, he does. _ ” 

  
Robbie watched the girl for a moment, then sighed and put his head in his hands. “ _ Goddamnit _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> ok that was fun,, i love innocent sportsdad with my whole heart,,,,


End file.
